


20/20

by Twinklylights



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: 4x11 was kinda forceful ya know ?, Fluff, Gallavich, M/M, Mickey deserves an apology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 15:24:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17347676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twinklylights/pseuds/Twinklylights
Summary: They say hindsight is 20/20. Ian finally apologizes





	20/20

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing , sorry if it sucks lol  
> Set in the future, post gay jesus, post prison , etc  
> Leave Kudos & comments , lets talk :))

_The beads drop to the floor. The door flies open. He Has a gun. Their world of happiness is completely shattered. There’s a girl with him. So much screaming. So much protesting. No. No. No. Everything goes black._

Ian jerks awake. His breathing is rapid. His eyes quickly scan the room as he’s reminded that he’s in his bedroom. In the apartment that him and Mickey share. Everything’s fine. That day is long behind the two of them.

Dreams like this still leave him a little shaken up even after all this time but he can’t help but think how far they’ve came since that awful day. Sure, they’ve had their fair share of major relationship hiccups and more than enough personal battles but looking back to where they were just those few years ago, things had certainly changed for the better. No more hiding their relationship, no more secrets between them, only birthday surprises. No more second guessing.

Hindsight is said to always be 20/20. Ian can’t help but agree with that. Back in the day he could never wrap his head around Mickey not wanting to come out. Of course, they were destined to get a few dirty looks and people might yell obscenities if they walked down the cold Chicago streets holding hands, but wasn’t their love worth it?  Ian had been so naive to think it was that simple. As much as he hated to think back to it, his “Gay Jesus” days had really opened his eyes. Those kids had fears so deeply rooted and it tore his heart apart. Seeing them not being accepted by their families, for simply loving who they wanted, for simply being who they are. Ian could not stand in silence, not this time. Fighting for these kids to be heard, to be accepted, to be loved. He had to do something, if not for them, for Mickey. A young Mickey lived in that same world of constant fear and shame and a young Ian completely swept it under the rug. Ian would spend forever making up for those mistakes.

Ian opens his eyes and quietly maneuvers himself closer to mickey, pasting his chest to his back, wrapping his arms around him. He breathes in his scent. He feels Mickey shift under his touch and smiles. Mickey has always been such a light sleeper, startling him awake is never a good idea. Mickey smiles into his pillow, basking in the warmth radiating from Ian. Ian begins feathering light kisses across his back, appreciating every curve of his shoulder blades. In between kisses, honest, heartfelt whispers can be heard.

 _“_ I love you so much”

“You’re so strong”

“You were so brave”

“I’m so proud of you”

Mickey’s cheeks redden at the sudden morning praise, but he’s silent as he listens. After years he’s learning to be comfortable with people acknowledging the good in him. Lord knows there’s so much. Ian’s sudden declarations of love are often unexpected but still able to make him feel like he’s on top of the world. There was a time where mickey was so afraid to admit his love for Ian out loud and vocalize the thoughts that had been running wild in his head. Thorough the years he’s learning that he’s worthy of love. To love and be loved in return is all a young Mickey could have ever dreamed of. Ian’s kisses and declarations continue, but the voice crack halfway through _“I’m Sorry”_ \- causes Mickey to finally turn around and look at Ian.

The tears in his eyes are evident and Mickey wonders if he’s the reason behind them. As quickly as Mickey turns around to look at Ian, Ian’s pulling him into his chest. He runs his fingers through the length of hair, appreciating what he has with the man in his arms. Mickey looks up expectedly waiting for some sort of explanation. It comes after a deep breath.

“Mick, you were going through so much. I couldn’t even understand it. I shouldn’t have pressured you”

Then it clicks, and Mickey knows exactly what Ian’s talking about. This isn’t the first time in the last years that Ian’s apologized for the shitshow that was the beginning of their relationship. Years of learning to communicate and the occasional therapy appointment had really helped them both open up about things present and past.  When Mickey had one day let it slip how hurtful the ultimatum was that day, Ian had made it his mission to make up for it and every way possible. Mickey would never admit it, but for years he had waited for an apology or at least some type of remorse from Ian. Thankfully, the days of waiting are long behind him now. He looks up at Ian, gently stroking the freckles along his cheek before speaking.

“Hey, you don’t gotta apologize. That shits long in the past”

“I know, Mick, I just, I was so fucking love struck, couldn’t even begin to understand what you were going through. How horrible Terry really was”

The mention of his name causes Mickey to stiffen slightly under Ian’s touch, but he plays it off.

“You couldn’t have known.”

This only makes Ian more upset. His breathing becomes rapid and the tears are shedding faster because him and Mickey both know that’s not true.

 _“_ YES! I could have! I could have tried! I could have listened to you! I could have actually been there to support you! I was there !God, I’m so fucking sorry Mickey.”

His grip on Mickey is definitely going to leave a mark. Mickey’s at a loss for words. It still gets to him that Ian feels this way, as much Mickey wants to leave the past in the past, he’s slowly learning what a big effect those experiences had on him. He props himself up, hovering over Ian. His Ian. Whose got them both emotional at 9 in the fucking morning. He swipes his thumb across Ian’s cheek wiping the stray tears, kisses his lips gently before he speaks.

“I love you. It’s all fine, we all made mistakes back then. Hell, I was the king, of them. But none of that matters anymore. We’re here now, we love each other, everything else is bullshit.”

Sometimes Ian still can’t believe that Mickey is his. He wonders what he did to deserve such a perfect man, but he knows that he’s never gonna let him go. He reaches to cup Mickey’s jaw, looking into his eyes. The eyes of the strongest man he knows. He kisses him lightly, stopping to bask in the beauty in front of him. He’s still sniffling but he’s not sure if it’s about the dream or the overwhelming presence of beauty in front him. Likely, a mix a both. He smiles at Mickey.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you”


End file.
